Saturday, July 17, 2010
I think sometimes I need to reconcile with myself the fact that maybe, just maybe, I'm not as good or as great as everyone makes myself out to be.
Maybe all my successes so far aren't really successes.
Can success be defined by grades?
Can success be defined by anything actually?
Do I find those people with all the money in the world and all the power in the world successful?
What I really need to focus on:
I don't know what I am. But I guess I can say that I have been growing more mature in terms of many things. To see things I don't usually see, to put things in the perspective, to think beyond my little sphere, to understand people without judging them - all these have taken me 18 years. 18 long years. And I really hope that when the time comes and I turn 18, I wouldn't be where I was 1 year ago in terms of my attitude and thoughts and feelings.
Maybe it's really time for me to grow up just that teeny weeny bit.
Maybe it's time for me to back up and deal with things not going my way.
Because in the end, I just need to believe that I will be great.
On other things,
I probably need to learn to be more selfish and more selfless.
Being selfish isn't always something bad, contrary to Aesop's fables, morals of various stories and perhaps everybody I know.
Sometimes being selfish is caring about yourself and putting yourself first when you ought to, because self-worth is always the most important.
i like reading books about life.
i love the story of how people were originally joined together, men and women, with 2 heads, 4 legs, 4 hands and everything. i can't really imagine what this mythical creature actually looks like, but the focus is that god decided to split them apart for fear they were becoming too strong and too powerful.
everybody will find their other half. i just hope i don't have to try piecing myself over and over cause once you've formed that attachment, it's really really hard to tear yourself away.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
(Note: Very Incoherent, Dissected post belies)
As much as I love my current life, I cannot help but be completely lost about the future when the subject is myself.
I love surprises don't get me wrong. I would love to enter the future step-by-step and let all that's going to happen to me happen one by one; find myself in new circumstances and get out of trouble; figure out what to do and when to do something... i'm thrilled, excited, hopeful about my future but similarly I'm so scared because I have no idea how I'm going to arrive at that future state of me. Is there going to be transformation of sorts, or am I going to be the same person as I am now? Will I still laugh at the jokes I found hilarious, will I still have the same friends, the same beliefs and the same attitude towards things?
They like to say chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi but that's so not working for me. Cause one thing I have learnt from JC is if you don't do anything about it nothing is going to happen. The stupid bridge isn't going to be straight on its damn own unless you pay money to get a bunch of construction workers to do the job - and you might get scammed/robbed in the process.
Half empty/half full? How is this even a test of whether you are optimistic/pessimistic??!! If you drank half of it then look at it you'll most probably say half empty! If you are served that cup you'll most surely say half full! that's how life works! Life works in sequence!
But now my sequence is all over the place because I am too eager, too eager to find out certain things about the future so I make the right decisions today; too afraid to try things out on my own because I'm too fearful of getting hurt. But I guess it's too bad for me, cause now I'm just stuck in the present, the unknowing uninformed present. Oh how I wish I have a securities blanket with Kupida Sopida (and her dragon) Mopida and Qwali to give me all the answers.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
"The worst time to get a heart attack is during a game of charades." - Demetri Martin
Haha.
1. so true.
2. he's no famous scientist/humanitarian/politician/anything he's just a damn funny comedian who says hell lot of nonsense. Note to self to watch his videos when bored.
3. i need laxatives. real badddddd.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Perhaps it's been too long since Mummy and I went out together, just the two of us, so when we finally did today it was a hilarious outing of extreme proportions.
Even though my plans to study were ruined by my MOTHER (I kid you not), she made me burst out in laughter repeatedly and it was so fun. She was looking around for a jacket which she had no need for, tried on a dress which she said was meant for the beach and she would never have a chance to wear it, and tried on a BRA in the middle of the shop. Oh god.
Also! I re-downloaded StumbleUpon on my lime-green Vaio (:D) and I am so glad cause I discovered this amazing place called : www.onlineschools.org and it has the most random (though rather useless) information in these little pictures and it's really very fun to read. Haha very useful information for awkward and quiet moments and perfect conversation starters haha I love it :)
(I wanted to put a picture/example BUT I realised my blog screen is TOO SMALL!! Only XKCD fits here)
Friday, June 4, 2010
heehee XKCD is so funny I love it.
On a totally irrelevant note, I spent a perfectly solitary afternoon immersed in my Geography notes, and it felt completely alright. See, contrary to popular belief, you are completely okay alone. As long as you're not at home (where distractions! distractions! distractions! overwhelm you and smother you alive)
Recently too, I have developed an addiction (as another puts it) of sorts to the PSP. And I'm not indulging myself in the Japanese drum game Taiko No Tatsujin (aka Taiko: Drum Master) this time. I have risen from the portentous depths of NSK-Land and dived right into 2010 Fifa World Cup and it is honestly quite a mind-blowing experience, for me at least. Since I don't exactly follow soccer much or give a damn about Offsides and Penalties and Corners and the like. I also get very much emotionally involved in the short 8 minute game often cursing at the opposing team (usually Holland or Argentina) or shouting at my tiny players for crashing into each other. It is as if I think they have ears (okay they do they are super realistic and the animation/graphics are breathtaking) and can respond to my cries of anger! and frustration!
It really is a ball of a game, honestly. (Hah! I came up with that one myself!)
On another note (seems like I have many unrelated notes today) (I also have many brackets or parentheses" as a GP comprehension would say), I still am very, very tempted to go to that FMYLIFE.com and enter:
Hi I'm a starving child from Ethiopia. Haven't eaten in like, a few months, or years, I've lost count. FML.
But it would draw flak and I would probably get kicked off/banned from FMYLIFE.com and there goes my occasional dose of humour.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
toy story 3
I haven't been here in ages. And I seriously mean ages. And the only reason I'm back here today is because 1) I am hoping an avenue for me to express myself in more ways than my facial expression + incessant rambling will be good for my GP so I don't have to fail it again, and 2) there are things to say and I have a sudden urge to talk to myself.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I envy the Humanz scholars. Not just the scholars actually, but the people who take the humanities. I'm not jealous of their tiny and claustrophobic little classrooms, or their merry trips to Japan, or the money that they have and all that. It seems they are better able to express themselves when they need to, and the subjects they take conceivably do some good to their everyday lives. At least when they are pissed off they can express it elegantly through a poem or some elaborate, high-class lament with loads of imagery++. On the other hand, unless I'm some kind of a Albert Einstein there is no way I can physics my way out of expressing how pissed off I am.
Not that I am pissed off now or anything like that.
Between mugging for my dreaded dreaded oh-god-kill-me-now H3 Contemporary Physics final examination, engaging in a brief game of Doodle Find (on which my name can be found on said Top Score list for the week), staring into space and contemplating life, I found myself back here. To a safe little sanctuary where I can talk to myself, aloud, with absolutely no strings attached! Maybe the great thing about deserting your blog without completely deleting it is that you can always come back to it when you need it. I think all I need now is something away from NMR! and Band Theory! and P-N Junctions! and all that clutter and gigantic words bombarding! my! face! every two seconds. thank goodness for wikipedia you are a life saver even my h3 teacher rips his notes off your wonderful website.
Much have changed since the last time I was here, and examining my life in all fairness (meaning I have considered the "Endowment Effect"), it has most definitely gone better. (Y)(Y)(Y)
I like my life. As always :D
happy happy happyyyyyyyyyyyyy (y)(y)(y)
I want to watch toy story 3 yep that's why it's named toy story 3 so I don't forget to watch it!
(I also have a sudden urge to say that i want to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! but it's a fantasy, I'm not North Korea (: )
Friday, June 12, 2009
I wont worry my life awayyyyyy
one of these days,
im gonna laugh so hard until i erupt at the same people and the same things over and over again with the same company i call
my friends<3LOVE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
and on a completely unrelated note,
BEGGAR CLOTHES AND ECLAIRS FTW HAHAHA
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I think sometimes I need to reconcile with myself the fact that maybe, just maybe, I'm not as good or as great as everyone makes myself out to be.
Maybe all my successes so far aren't really successes.
Can success be defined by grades?
Can success be defined by anything actually?
Do I find those people with all the money in the world and all the power in the world successful?
What I really need to focus on:
I don't know what I am. But I guess I can say that I have been growing more mature in terms of many things. To see things I don't usually see, to put things in the perspective, to think beyond my little sphere, to understand people without judging them - all these have taken me 18 years. 18 long years. And I really hope that when the time comes and I turn 18, I wouldn't be where I was 1 year ago in terms of my attitude and thoughts and feelings.
Maybe it's really time for me to grow up just that teeny weeny bit.
Maybe it's time for me to back up and deal with things not going my way.
Because in the end, I just need to believe that I will be great.
On other things,
I probably need to learn to be more selfish and more selfless.
Being selfish isn't always something bad, contrary to Aesop's fables, morals of various stories and perhaps everybody I know.
Sometimes being selfish is caring about yourself and putting yourself first when you ought to, because self-worth is always the most important.
i like reading books about life.
i love the story of how people were originally joined together, men and women, with 2 heads, 4 legs, 4 hands and everything. i can't really imagine what this mythical creature actually looks like, but the focus is that god decided to split them apart for fear they were becoming too strong and too powerful.
everybody will find their other half. i just hope i don't have to try piecing myself over and over cause once you've formed that attachment, it's really really hard to tear yourself away.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
(Note: Very Incoherent, Dissected post belies)
As much as I love my current life, I cannot help but be completely lost about the future when the subject is myself.
I love surprises don't get me wrong. I would love to enter the future step-by-step and let all that's going to happen to me happen one by one; find myself in new circumstances and get out of trouble; figure out what to do and when to do something... i'm thrilled, excited, hopeful about my future but similarly I'm so scared because I have no idea how I'm going to arrive at that future state of me. Is there going to be transformation of sorts, or am I going to be the same person as I am now? Will I still laugh at the jokes I found hilarious, will I still have the same friends, the same beliefs and the same attitude towards things?
They like to say chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi but that's so not working for me. Cause one thing I have learnt from JC is if you don't do anything about it nothing is going to happen. The stupid bridge isn't going to be straight on its damn own unless you pay money to get a bunch of construction workers to do the job - and you might get scammed/robbed in the process.
Half empty/half full? How is this even a test of whether you are optimistic/pessimistic??!! If you drank half of it then look at it you'll most probably say half empty! If you are served that cup you'll most surely say half full! that's how life works! Life works in sequence!
But now my sequence is all over the place because I am too eager, too eager to find out certain things about the future so I make the right decisions today; too afraid to try things out on my own because I'm too fearful of getting hurt. But I guess it's too bad for me, cause now I'm just stuck in the present, the unknowing uninformed present. Oh how I wish I have a securities blanket with Kupida Sopida (and her dragon) Mopida and Qwali to give me all the answers.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
"The worst time to get a heart attack is during a game of charades." - Demetri Martin
Haha.
1. so true.
2. he's no famous scientist/humanitarian/politician/anything he's just a damn funny comedian who says hell lot of nonsense. Note to self to watch his videos when bored.
3. i need laxatives. real badddddd.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Perhaps it's been too long since Mummy and I went out together, just the two of us, so when we finally did today it was a hilarious outing of extreme proportions.
Even though my plans to study were ruined by my MOTHER (I kid you not), she made me burst out in laughter repeatedly and it was so fun. She was looking around for a jacket which she had no need for, tried on a dress which she said was meant for the beach and she would never have a chance to wear it, and tried on a BRA in the middle of the shop. Oh god.
Also! I re-downloaded StumbleUpon on my lime-green Vaio (:D) and I am so glad cause I discovered this amazing place called : www.onlineschools.org and it has the most random (though rather useless) information in these little pictures and it's really very fun to read. Haha very useful information for awkward and quiet moments and perfect conversation starters haha I love it :)
(I wanted to put a picture/example BUT I realised my blog screen is TOO SMALL!! Only XKCD fits here)
Friday, June 4, 2010
heehee XKCD is so funny I love it.
On a totally irrelevant note, I spent a perfectly solitary afternoon immersed in my Geography notes, and it felt completely alright. See, contrary to popular belief, you are completely okay alone. As long as you're not at home (where distractions! distractions! distractions! overwhelm you and smother you alive)
Recently too, I have developed an addiction (as another puts it) of sorts to the PSP. And I'm not indulging myself in the Japanese drum game Taiko No Tatsujin (aka Taiko: Drum Master) this time. I have risen from the portentous depths of NSK-Land and dived right into 2010 Fifa World Cup and it is honestly quite a mind-blowing experience, for me at least. Since I don't exactly follow soccer much or give a damn about Offsides and Penalties and Corners and the like. I also get very much emotionally involved in the short 8 minute game often cursing at the opposing team (usually Holland or Argentina) or shouting at my tiny players for crashing into each other. It is as if I think they have ears (okay they do they are super realistic and the animation/graphics are breathtaking) and can respond to my cries of anger! and frustration!
It really is a ball of a game, honestly. (Hah! I came up with that one myself!)
On another note (seems like I have many unrelated notes today) (I also have many brackets or parentheses" as a GP comprehension would say), I still am very, very tempted to go to that FMYLIFE.com and enter:
Hi I'm a starving child from Ethiopia. Haven't eaten in like, a few months, or years, I've lost count. FML.
But it would draw flak and I would probably get kicked off/banned from FMYLIFE.com and there goes my occasional dose of humour.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
I haven't been here in ages. And I seriously mean ages. And the only reason I'm back here today is because 1) I am hoping an avenue for me to express myself in more ways than my facial expression + incessant rambling will be good for my GP so I don't have to fail it again, and 2) there are things to say and I have a sudden urge to talk to myself.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I envy the Humanz scholars. Not just the scholars actually, but the people who take the humanities. I'm not jealous of their tiny and claustrophobic little classrooms, or their merry trips to Japan, or the money that they have and all that. It seems they are better able to express themselves when they need to, and the subjects they take conceivably do some good to their everyday lives. At least when they are pissed off they can express it elegantly through a poem or some elaborate, high-class lament with loads of imagery++. On the other hand, unless I'm some kind of a Albert Einstein there is no way I can physics my way out of expressing how pissed off I am.
Not that I am pissed off now or anything like that.
Between mugging for my dreaded dreaded oh-god-kill-me-now H3 Contemporary Physics final examination, engaging in a brief game of Doodle Find (on which my name can be found on said Top Score list for the week), staring into space and contemplating life, I found myself back here. To a safe little sanctuary where I can talk to myself, aloud, with absolutely no strings attached! Maybe the great thing about deserting your blog without completely deleting it is that you can always come back to it when you need it. I think all I need now is something away from NMR! and Band Theory! and P-N Junctions! and all that clutter and gigantic words bombarding! my! face! every two seconds. thank goodness for wikipedia you are a life saver even my h3 teacher rips his notes off your wonderful website.
Much have changed since the last time I was here, and examining my life in all fairness (meaning I have considered the "Endowment Effect"), it has most definitely gone better. (Y)(Y)(Y)
I like my life. As always :D
happy happy happyyyyyyyyyyyyy (y)(y)(y)
I want to watch toy story 3 yep that's why it's named toy story 3 so I don't forget to watch it!
(I also have a sudden urge to say that i want to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! but it's a fantasy, I'm not North Korea (: )
Friday, June 12, 2009
one of these days,
im gonna laugh so hard until i erupt at the same people and the same things over and over again with the same company i call
my friends<3LOVE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
and on a completely unrelated note,
BEGGAR CLOTHES AND ECLAIRS FTW HAHAHA
hello
Violet Lee
10 September (I'm obsessed with my birthday but the thing is I don't usually do anything about it when the day comes. I like counting down to it and like, using it as a standard when refering to various dates, which
is really, really self-indulgent but self-indulgent is good! It's like ice-cream. I look forward to eating it but I don't really like eating it. So confusing! So so confusing!)
haha and that's it, cause i choose not to define who i am with a couple of random words that I don't even usually use. (like vivacious!?! who the heck uses it other than when they are trying to alliterate!!!)
